Paul's Blog


July 07, 2020

Friends are fickle. Friends are held together by the mutual experiences you share, but experiences fade from memory as time passes. If you can’t maintain positive mutual experiences, your friendship fades. At the same time, if you have negative mutual experiences, those can fade too and friendship can be reattained through nostalgia of the friendship winning over the negative that pushed you away.

I don’t know where I’m going with this or why I’m writing it, but my whole life I’ve felt that maintaining friendships is hard. As a software developer with a bunch of non-techy friends, the only mutual experiences I get from that is bonding over video games or the frequent tech support questions. I have to find other ways to continue my friendships in things that we mutually share.

The biggest mutual experience I have with most of my friends right now is college, yet this is my last year so what happens next? I’m sure I’m not the only one scared whether my friendships continue without the constant homework groups, complaints about education, and general college lifestyle. At this point I’m left looking at each one of my friends and trying to figure out exactly what our bond is, and whether or not it’s something I can maintain after graduation.

The worst part of all of this for me is that it feels like I don’t have to worry about these things. I’ve never heard people talk about friends like this or worry about their friendships this much, yet here I am writing a blog post about them. But it still feels like if I don’t worry, I lose control over my friendships and I cease being friends with people that I very much enjoy being friends with.

I still don’t know why I’m writing this, but maybe it’s just a good place to get this written down for future me. Maybe I’ll write an update in a year haha.

Written by Paul.

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